My conundrum

I have a few really annoying/bad habits (JUST A FEW).

1.  I’m really indecisive.  Mainly because the idea of making a less than optimal decision makes me INSANE.

2.  When I make a decision, I like to open it up again and fruitlessly contemplate all the factors over and over again until I drive myself and everyone around me INSANE.

3.  I hate uncertainty.  Especially when it comes to MY future. 

So a few months back when I decided to postpone applying to business school I also decided that I’ll search for jobs in India.  I started aggressively looking at a lot of options – NGOs, venture funds, SOCIAL venture funds, consulting companies, etc, etc.   I’ll even admit that I flirted with the dark side again and interviewed at JPMorgan.  In my defense, one visit to their cubicle infested office and I immediately decided I was not going down that path again. 

Anyways all was going well until…bum..bum.BUM..the summer came (in friggin March).

IT’S SO FUCKING HOT. 

I know that sounds whiney and bitchy and I know I have a tendency to be whiney and bitchy.  But I really can’t help it.  It’s so fucking uncomfortable every single day that sudden all those little things about India that always bothered me became BIG things that REALLY bothered me.  I lost my patience with the rickshaw drivers.  I stopped caring about trying to ever master Hindi.   I started to miss my family and you guys (except Kanika) a lot more.  I started punching the mustached and screaming at the idiots in the call centers in this country.   The novelty of “roughing it” disappeared and all I wanted was air conditioning, mangoes, and slaves (there, I said it).

Anyways this threw me into crisis mode. Do I really want to stay in India?   If I went home, then what the hell would I do?  It’s not like jobs are falling out of the sky in the US.  Where would I live?  What about b-school?  Could I honestly live with my family again?  Am I taking the easy way out?  What about making it for the Halloween parade in NYC? 

So rather than making a decision I decided to punt the issue. I’d leave it up to fate.  I had 3 potential job opportunities on the table and I decided I’d pursue ONLY those 3.   If one of those worked out it was a sign from God that I was meant to stay.  A small part of me secretly hoped they wouldn’t work out and I’d have an excuse to run home.  Unfortunately, I failed to account for one thing.

I’m a damn good interviewer.

So far I’ve picked up 2 of the 3 offers and am pretty close to sealing the deal on the third.  One of them, with an organization called UnLTD India seems really interesting, but there are two big problems with the job.  In order of my priorities the problems are 1.  They do not have air conditioning, 2.  They don’t pay 1/3 of the MINIMUM I’d even consider for living in Bombay. 

The other option I’m considering is to join The Monitor Group’s Inclusive Markets Team (http://www.mim.monitor.com/).  They do good work and its probably a far better job than I could pick up in the US to keep me busy for a year.  I’d be more than a consultant with them.  They actually try to get on the ground and “move the needle” as they put it on issues that they focus on.  They are HUGE in the affordable housing space in India and have actually had some success (which sets them apart from 99% of Indian NGOs).  They also have air conditioning and I noticed a guy at the office who gives out free fruit to the employees.  The pay is decent and the culture a little more corporate (though not investment banking corporate) – i.e. they get shit done.

The final option is with another consulting firm called Innosight.  They aren’t per se a “social” consulting firm, but there is a bit of a social angle to what they do(or so I’ve convinced myself). Essentially they consult to US firms that are trying to crack the Indian market.  By “crack the market” I don’t mean sell to the top 1% of Indians who are exactly like western consumers, but rather focus on the middle to bottom of the socioeconomic pyramid.  What this means is helping companies with issues such as designing their products for affordability or transforming from a margin business to a volume driven business model.  It could definitely be interesting and the people I’ve met at this place would be great to work with.  I don’t yet have an offer from Innosight, but it could be a game changer if it works out.

Anyways I haven’t made up my mind yet, but there’s an 80% chance I’ll stick around in India another year and a 90% chance that if I do, it will be with the Monitor Group.   There is a 100% chance that no matter what decision I make I’m going to agonize over if it was the right one for the next year/rest of my life.

So what should I do?